Send a Card To a Friend Day | Is the Beauty of Handwritten Notes a lost art?

The art of sending a card, issuing an invitation, handwriting a thank you, and the joy of receiving that handwritten treasure are close to being lost as an art and as a part of etiquette. It is simple thing to send a text, type a quick email, or leave a voicemail. The transitory nature of these gestures - although well within the venue of polite society - are so much less than the thought and care required to send a card or personal note. Choosing a card front with a blank inside and penning a note, selecting a card with just the right picture and quote, or even adding the personal touch of stationary for such occasions and preparing each of these to be sent for a special delivery is no longer the simplest of tasks. These often forgotten kindnesses are much more personal, tactile, treasured and far less transactional than our modern digital communication.

My grandmother often sent 40 to 50 cards in a week. These included short letters, thank you notes, well wishes, invitations, notes of friendship and inspiration to those around her. She chose each from a box of stationary and cards that she continually restocked on her desk. When we visited as small children, I often heard her phone people to just “check in.” I’d watch as she made notes from the conversations - dates or tasks to follow up, additional people to contact, other concerns, or thoughts of how she could show caring to each friend. She had notebooks filled with details - more than just the address and phone numbers - birthdays, anniversaries, original meeting dates, names of peoples' children, spouses, occupations, interests, successes, losses, and so much more. She treasured each bit of information as if it was an honored secret that she’s been given; a window into those who had shared a bit of their lives with her. She valued and loved those around her in ways that we couldn’t even envision until after her passing.

Years later, upon her passing, my grandfather was in shock at the vast numbers (100’s) of people from places far and wide with which she had cultivated and cared for with her notes and cards. Some whom she had never met, but had heard that they were in need through someone else and reached out with a kind word. Others have been lifelong friends, but distance had made any other contact limited. As they reached out to tell him that they shared her loss and how much she would be missed, only then did we discover the depths of her little card box and phone calls.

She celebrated birth, never missed a first day, was always there after a loss making sure that those left behind we’re going to be OK. She followed up on illnesses, successes, struggles, and just by making sure you were doing well and knew someone cared. Her passing left a major hole in the life of many, and yet most would’ve never known since she was also the mother of nine children, grandmother to 64, and cherished member of their local farming and church community.

My mom often spoke of my dad‘s siblings writing “ letters of round robin” as a method of keeping communication open on three continents. She would write a letter detailing the highlights of our lives, then send it to the next sibling. Each sibling would include a letter, pass it on and in a few months an entire bundle of letters would arrive. She would remove hers, we read all the others together Then she would include a new letter and the bundles would be sent out again.  When she passed, included in her things were several reams Round Robin letters, she didn’t want to be forgotten.

In today's world though, ”Write and send a card” day celebrates more than just "checking in", communicating across long distances, important business, or meeting the obligatory requirements of etiquette in our transitory lives. The long-term effect of receiving mail - a permanent piece of paper containing your thoughts, hopes, wishes, concerns, and congratulations - are so much more when they received by mail and a permanent format.

Imagine the face of the young child that receives their first book or magazine from the mail person. Every month, just receiving that tan envelope how quickly their face turns from anticipation to joy. That simple gift creates a lifelong learner and anticipation of being able to read what is contained inside.

Receiving and learning how to appropriately respond to birthday party invitations, play dates, bar or bat mitzvahs, quinceaneras, sweet sixteen and graduation invites. As a teenager, invitations received by mail were given priority whether it was a New Year’s Eve party, a Fourth of July get together or a back-to-school barbecue. As adults, the beauty of receiving a gorgeous wedding invitation, a save-the-date, a personal announcement in the mail automatically communicates the feeling that it is much more thoughtful and sincere because it was sent with time, love and care.

Although, I am in my 60s, as a child, we spent an unbelievable amount of class time learning to properly format, write and accept an invitation, an RSVP, or simply a letter to a grandparent or loved one that needed a "check in" from us. The basics of common conversation, simple written communication, appropriate responses, and especially thank you notes were all painstakingly covered in our classroom. It was expected that by third grade you could do all of the above in cursive handwriting without prompting or help and that it would be very legible. In classrooms today, cursive handwriting is not being taught and very little to none of this very basic level of communication is currently being learned on a tablet.

In todays's standard of modern etiquette, it is true all forms of communication - a text, an email, a voicemail - are perfectly acceptable, but the long-term effect is not the same. Is the beauty of communication done by mail a lost art? Is the etiquette of selecting a greeting card or a simply written communication long gone?

For the cost of a few pages of paper some envelopes and a book of stamps, any one can celebrate this holiday! Who do you know that needs a kind word? A bit of hope? A "check-in"? Would your friends enjoy a "Round-Robin" check-in letter? Or maybe get creative and share a handwritten book club, board game or recipe box in a fun new way!

So today, take out your best penmanship, select a gorgeous card, and send it to a friend, a loved one, or simply someone who needs it! It will be treasured.

Until next time,

MG